I feel like I'm in dance class right now
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
