We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
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