please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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