I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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