I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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