She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
