I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize