Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Mom said you looked used
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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