I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
