I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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