Porn is love you can see.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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