We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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