I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
