Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
