tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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