turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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