I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
