And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
ttyl tear gas
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
