Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize