just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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