forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
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