Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
