I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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