Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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