she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm both gender and math confused
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
He did a backflip because drugs
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