I heard we made out
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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