She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize
