Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
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