Taylor Swift is so right about you.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
