I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
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