woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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