a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
