but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
