You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize