Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i just google imaged poop.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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