Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
