Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
