you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
