What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize
