So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
