I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
