How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
My dick has a subreddit
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
