Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
