This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
