let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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