love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
