I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
