i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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