Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
