the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
don't judge my taste in strippers
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
