My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize