i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
