Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
