Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
