I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
