It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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