Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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