Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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