I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
