Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
