We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I just found a bag of teeth...
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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