i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
