he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
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