You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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