He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Randomize
