So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
