apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
