So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I am mentally ready for anal.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
