Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
