I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
