Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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