you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
